I Would Drape Myself In Velvet if it Were Socially Acceptable

No words...

You Seen Him?

(Yes, I also have Photoshop)

EDIT: He's got the flu. You believe it? Killed like 50 million people in 1918! Rest up Carlos, feel better.

EDIT (11:35): Wayne Hagin just announced: "Hu's up" - What I would have paid to hear Howie Rose say "I don't know Wayne, who is up?"

Dear Jon, Get Off Jimmy's Nuts

Jon Heyman's aversion to rational inferences based on statistics is well documented at places like FJM, but his dislike of the Mets - or love of Jimmy Rollins - has never been that apparent to me. That is, until I read his latest contribution to SI:

The Mets may unseat the Phillies as NL East champions this year, but there's no sense in trying to beat NL MVP and trash talker extraordinaire Jimmy Rollins at his own game.

Quiet Mets star Carlos Beltran gave it a surprise shot when he got to camp, borrowing Rollins' exact line from last spring in declaring the Mets as "the team to beat." But as Phillies pitcher Brett Myers noted, "Sequels are never as good as the original.''

And then Rollins chimed in the next day, "Has anyone ever heard of plagiarism?''

Beltran, a nice, laconic, well-groomed fellow, stunned folks with his rare back-page fodder. But Rollins holds the patent. He gets all the credit, with only an assist from the Mets for their reaction last spring. "I thank the Mets,'' Rollins said. "They took it upon themselves to take it personally.

Beltran and other Mets types are understandably excited about the acquisition of ace pitcher Johan Santana. Yet the Mets should hold their tongues now for two very good reasons: 1) They had their chance last spring when Rollins spoke, but to a man, they were afraid to speak up, a reticence that was later reflected in the way they played -- scared; and 2) Philly beat the Mets to a pulp down the stretch, winning the last seven head-to-head games.

Beltran gave it a shot. But under the circumstances his words came off as a pale impersonation of the master.

Ok. Besides the excess verbiage (Laconic? Really Jon?), Heyman seems to imply that the Mets should have answered the challenge last spring when *The MVP* declared the Phillies "the team to beat." Jon Heyman, you're a moron. There, I said it.

I'll go out on a limb and say that the only people calling for any Met player to publicly answer Rollins statements were Vinny from Staten Island and Paulie from Bay Ridge - and they were both "first time, long time."

I can't remember a single person in the media that wanted a Met to answer Rollins. If I remember correctly, the opposite was true. Rollins was viewed as a trash talking SS on a historically losing franchise. Why waste breath in answering him? All anyone wanted the Mets to do was go out on the field and take care of business much like they did on Opening Day.

Now, after The Collapse®, Jon Heyman is talking shit about the Mets saying how they should have manned up and fired a shot back? Get the fuck out of here Heyman, you're embarrassing yourself.

Jesus Christ

Can't the world-beaters in the marketing department leave well enough alone?

I woke up to read this email this morning:







How can this team, a team who blew a 12...well you all know what happened, stand on a pedestal and offer a ticket package entitled "Team to Beat" Pack? I'd sign on for a "Let's Wait and See" Pack or even a "We'll Probably Win the Division, but Let's Not Jump to Conclusions" Pack, but "Team to Beat?"

There was a reason why it was so easy to root against the Phillies and Jimmy Rollins last season. I think it had something to do with a SS making bold predictions before the season started.

As Metstradamus has lamented, these comments coming from Beltran's mouth is one thing, having the team latch onto it and turn it into a marketing campaign is another.

The 2008 Mets: Let's Jinx This Motherfucker Before We Even Play a Game.

Saint Tony

Did you know that Carlos Beltran not only speaks English, but also follows his team in the offseason? Shove that in your pipe LoDuca. And while Carlos apparently doesn't have access to a television or internet access in beautiful Puerto Rico to follow the team on his own - he never has to worry about being up to date on essential Mets-related news and information:

"I paid a lot of attention to this," the Mets' center fielder said of his team's offseason, made prosperous with the trade for Johan Santana.

Assistant general manager Tony Bernazard kept him apprised by phone, but Beltran wants to look down the aisle of lockers in the Mets' clubhouse in Port St. Lucie, Fla., to see Santana.

Well thank you Tony! We could have a CF who didn't even know we acquired the BPInB if it wasn't for you!

And guess what baseball fans...Carlos doesn't yet feel 100%!!!!!

Beltran had both knees scoped over the winter.

"I don't feel 100 percent, but I hope to be by the start of the season," Beltran said. "I couldn't play anymore like that. I didn't feel pain as much as I did weakness.

"I just want to be 100 percent and to be able to do a lot more."

Ladies and Gentlemen your 2008 New York Mets! Your Collapse Has Come!

Big Wally Style

Even when just about everyone in baseball is high on the Mets, our old friend Wally just can't resist being a big downer. Apparently Met fans haven't been sleeping for a week - they've been planning on all the different ways they're going to boo Johan out of Shea:

What will be acceptable production? Twenty wins? Twenty-five? Thirty? Or just enough to get them to October, when the judgment process will begin all over again. For all his regular-season brilliance, Santana's postseason record with the Twins was a so-so 1-3 with a 3.97 ERA.

I was waiting for the first opinion on Santana's playoff record. You got him Wally, he's a regular A-Rod in the clutch. What Wal-Dog forgot to mention is that after his first 3 rocky outings in 2002 and 2003, Johan has allowed 3 ER in 20 postseason IP - that's a 1.35 ERA but who's keeping track? Oh, and Wally...one more thing. In 2004 Johan pitched 12 innings in the ALDS against the beloved Yankees. His line you ask? 1 W, 12 IP, 1 ER. What a C-H-O-K-E-R! Destined to make an ass out of himself on the grandest stage of them all!

The rest of the column was Wally praying out loud that Santana crack under the pressure of playing in New York. Because honestly, if Santana goes 20-5 with a sub-3 ERA, what will The Keeg's former radio partner have to write about?

Remember how Mets fans made Carlos Beltran's life hell for his first season and a half? And how last year, Carlos Delgado could barely poke his head out of the dugout without being showered with boos? The good news for them is, they've moved down the payroll list. There's a new kid in town, with a bigger paycheck and, presumably, a bigger target on his back.

Yes Wally, Mets fans just can't wait to boo the living piss out of the best pitcher in baseball. In fact, I just dropped $250 on a custom-ordered "Overpaid" #57 jersey. Honestly, someone at Newsday needs to tell Mr. Matthews that when he needs to reach this far to bash the Mets he should just stick to bashing Roy Jones Jr.

The Immortal Keith Hernandez

Keith: "I was in the clubhouse having my first Michelob in the third inning."

Gary: Back when you could have a beer in the clubhouse."

Keith: (longingly) Yes.

Reyes, Wright, and Beltran doubled in succession to lead off the game and get the Mets out to a 3-0 lead against Matt Cain and the Giants, Reyes added a triple and a RBI in the 2nd to make it 4-0.