A Whale's Vagina

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.

I've been more disheartened as a Mets fan...but, I can't remember when. First, there was HBP. Then, there was the Wolf Pack outpitching TBPiB. Yesterday, 2-1 again. Today, Petey coughing up leads and Country Time shitting the bed in a way not seen since a warn summer day in the Bronx with a 4-run lead.

Yes, the previously 24-37 Padres of a city whose name was lost in translation hundreds of years ago dropped the Mets back to two games under .500 and sapped any momentum they might have had as well.

Now, the problems are glaring. Ryan Church is seriously fucked up. Fernando Tatis and Endy Chavez are the starting corner outfielders. Pedro isn't Pedro. Oh, and did I mention Abraham Nunez?

As an astute commenter on Metsradamus noted, the Mets need to play .656 ball (61-40) for the rest of 2008 to reach 91 wins. Remember that this is a sub-.500 team since last June 1st and think about how realistic that thought is. Then when you're finished think about how the Phillies are 13 games over .500 and how the Braves can't possibly continue to be this terrible on the road for much longer. Playoffs?

But hey, look on the bright side. If you have tickets for the final game at Shea like I do it will be that much more special - because it truly will be the last game at Shea.

Willie Speaks

On M&MD yesterday, Willie had a chance to win over my heart. Like every other chance he had though, he showed up late smelling like a strip club with body glitter on his shirt and lipstick on his collar.

Castillo will be the the number 2 hitter.

"He's one of the best two-hitters in the game, let's not fool ourselves" says Willie, "Omar brought [Castillo] here because this guy's one of the best two-hitters in the game."

"Church isn't a second hitter and you don't want to frustrate Jose in that situation."

He did go on to add he "liked" Church in the two-hole and may play him there more against lefties. But then he starting spewing shit along the lines of "if Church bats 2nd who's going to protect Delgado" and "we can't ruin Delgado's confidence right now." Basically, Luis was paid 16 million ridiculous tears-of-rational-Mets-fans-soaked dollars to play 2B and hit second in the lineup, so that' where he'll be hitting.

Glorious, glorious Willie-Speak. If anyone needs me I'll be sobbing on the floor of my bathroom.

The 2008 Mets: Your Season Has Come!

Hey, Remember That Lineup That Wasn't Working? Let's Try That Again!

Luis Castillo has always been a good player. He's had a longer hitting streak than any Met ever has. He has two championship rings. He's stolen over 60 bases in a season. He's had an OBP over .380 on four different occasions. He may have cured polio. He contributes large amounts of money to the Make-A-Wish foundation. Etc.

Luis Castillo accomplished all of the aforementioned feats because of his legs. Plain and simple - the man could run. Now, not so much.

So when Big Willie Style switched Luis out of the 2-hole and down to 8th a collective "what took so long" rang out in living rooms and sports bars across the tri-state area.

My question was, did it really matter? Now, the exceedingly small sample size being recognized, let's take a look.

During the 5-game stretch where Church hit 2nd and Castillo 8th, the Mets as a team hit .263 (48/182) and went 5-0. They averaged 4.8 runs per game.

During the first 11 games when Castillo hit 2nd and Church 6th, the Mets hit .264 (99/374), went 5-6, and scored 4.6 runs per game.

So the team scored 2/10 of a run more on average when Castillo hit 8th. I'm prepared to say that number would be much higher if Luis' switch to the 8th spot didn't coincide with Beltran and Delgado forgetting how to hit.

So it appears our intuitions were correct. Runs scored aside, the team won with Church hitting second. That alone would be enough to tell Willie to stick Luis, his bum knees, and his ridiculous contract in the 8th hole and let Lastings' replacement hack away...wouldn't it?

To the casual baseball fan, yes. But not to Willie Randolph. After the fun little 5-0 experiment with Church hitting second, the manager decided to switch back to the lineup that had his team one game under .500 for the first two weeks. What happened? What else could happen? They lost two games in a row.

Decision making at its finest.
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Fukudome returns in just under two hours. Hopefully the Lincoln High graduate who doesn't coerce interns into sex in an Escalade can keep the string of strong starts going.

Fun With Small Sample Sizes: Part I

Yeah, so I ripped off the title from FJM. Sue me.

After three games, Blastings! Thrilledge needs to close up shop. Because while Lastings may be hitting .294/.368/.471 with a 126 OPS+, he's no Ryan Church. Shit, he's no Brian Schneider!

                 BA  / OBP / SLG / OPS+    

Ryan Church:    .385  .429  .615  184

Brian Schneider .400  .500  .400  152 

But neither of these heroes of the first week can hod a candle to the immortal former Cyclone himself. The man who made all of us cringe as we thought of his name in the starting lineup. Yup, Angel Pagan is on pace to hit a super human .400/.500/.600 with a 202 OPS+! Take that sabermetrician basement nerds!

The scrappy Brady Clark, however, is on pace to do exactly what we expected: .000/.000/.000

Coming Sunday, the first of the weekly "Bend Ya Knees" and "TOAST!" Milledge and LoDuca updates.

Worried Yet?

Despite all the feel good "he broke down his swing and built it back from scratch" articles, Delgado still can't catch up with an inside fastball. And he's hurt again.

El Duque's many root canals are catching up with him. He hasn't even thrown batting practice yet.

Luis Castillo may not ever play in a spring game because his knees are held together by bazooka and masking tape.

Ruben Gotay's ankle may been broken and now we have to be ready to cross our fingers that Stache can make a much speedier recovery than expected and be on the bench for Opening Day.

Filthy Sanchez had an "underwhelming" fastball when he threw on Friday and hasn't even long tossed since. The Professor says that he's "still building arm strength."

Ryan Church had his possibly anti-semitic clock rung by Marlon Anderson and has to wear sunglasses to protect his sensitive eyes from the light.

And as if it couldn't get any worse, Wally Matthews ripped off an idea from the Mets blogosphere and penned a column suggesting "funny" slogans for the Mets to adopt this season. To add insult to injury, his final "witty" suggestion is "Wake Me Up When September Ends." Way to stay on top of those pop culture references Wally...but Benigno and Screech used the song for their fantastic montage of the final day of the season's highlights.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2008 New York Mets!

Freddie Coupon Pours Salt in the Wounds

Dear Fred,

Remember the letter you had Jeffy send us in October? Right after Toothless' horrific one-inning performance? You thanked us for our record-breaking support in 2007 and assured us that ownership was committed to providing the necessary resources to field a championship team.

Do you remember? Maybe this will jog your memory, "You deserve better results...Many thanks again for your record-breaking support." Ringing any bells?

So what did you do? You paid scouts to watch Jeff Fassero in Mexico. You were outbid by the Diamondbacks for Dan Haren. From all angles it looks like you'll be outbid on Santana. You've traded away our 23-year-old top prospect for the past 2 seasons for a 29-year-old who is arguably his equivalent with less upside and a catcher with a career OPS+ of 82. You don't seem to have learned from your mistakes.

Couple this with a historic collapse and team-wide who gives a shit attitude last September, and you have the makings of a quite pissed-off fanbase.

But leave it to you to figure out a way to pour a little extra salt in the wounds. Leave it to to you to add insult to the injury that was bad enough on its own.

Loyal Mets fans reward for record-breaking attendance and support to the bitter end? A 20% increase in ticket prices for the final season at Shea.

What's the 20% going towards Fred? Those Mexican leagues scouts' burrito bills as they type furiously on their blackberries that Omar should give a pitcher whose last decent season came in the 20th century a shot?

But rest assured, the biggest increases will effect the most expensive seats and there will be $5 nose-bleeds available for 36 games this year! Oh goody! If you want a decent ticket you're going to get final-season-at-Shea raped...but fear not, you can always sit in UR Row V for $5.

Thanks Freddie Coupon, you always find a way to top yourself.

Love,
Just one of many who contributed to the record-breaking support

Hat tip to CSTB for the image.

What About Ryan Church?

According to Dayn Perry over at FoxSports the Mets couldn't even make the top 5 trade candidates for Johan Santana.

No team could use Santana more than the Mets, but they don't have the tempting young arms needed to get something done. Also, now that Lastings Milledge has been jettisoned, they can't even assemble an attractive package of position players...

There's nothing like reading for a week about how L-Millz's stock had dropped so low that the only possible deal was for him to him being turned around for Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, and Youppi - and then hearing that if Omar had kept him the Mets could be in the mix for say, the greatest LHP of the past 4 years.

So who do we believe? Dayn Perry, Metstradamus, and the 16 fans who sat along the right field line that fateful day - or Wally Matthews (wait...never believe Wally Matthews) and those who told us that Lastings had gone from the man who the Mets wouldn't trade for Manny into Youppi bait?


I'm beginning to think the only memories of Santana at Shea will be from the random interleague game I managed to attend on June 18th, 2002 when an unknown Twins reliever put up 6 innings of 3 hit, 1 run baseball to become what Mets fans believed would be another name on the long list of "nobodies" who shut down the awe-inspiring offensive juggernaut that was Vaughn, Alomar, and Burnitz.