Bend Ya Knees: Week 2 / The Mets Can't Hit

After a horrible, horrible loss to the Brewers yesterday, the only thing that can lift my spirits is to check out just how much we ripped off the Nats.

.308/.351/.442 - Yes, Lastings has drawn three walks so far! You know how many walks Ryan Church has? Three. Yeah, he's just as good.

And B-Schneid? He has two. Oh wait, that's passed balls - he has six walks! Right again - he's twice the OBP machine that Lastings is.

Alright, there's no getting around it - this team just can't hit. Outside of Wright, Beltran, and maybe Church against righties, who do you feel comfortable with at the plate? Angel Pagan is going to come back to earth and so will B-Schneid. Castillo is, in the words of B!T "the Juan Pierre Lite who at this point is basically just hoping to walk because he can't hit and can't run."

Delgado is a shell of his former self and won't accept it and start trying to use the whole field consistently. Whenever it looks like he's starting to hit line drives and go to all fields he crushes one into the scoreboard and gets pull-happy again for a month.

The fact is that once Pagan and Schneider come back down from their 158 OPS+ and .409 OBP clouds this team is going to score two runs every game if they're lucky. And it should be right about when that moment comes that the Willie Watch will commence. It can't come soon enough

Fun With Small Sample Sizes: Part I

Yeah, so I ripped off the title from FJM. Sue me.

After three games, Blastings! Thrilledge needs to close up shop. Because while Lastings may be hitting .294/.368/.471 with a 126 OPS+, he's no Ryan Church. Shit, he's no Brian Schneider!

                 BA  / OBP / SLG / OPS+    

Ryan Church:    .385  .429  .615  184

Brian Schneider .400  .500  .400  152 

But neither of these heroes of the first week can hod a candle to the immortal former Cyclone himself. The man who made all of us cringe as we thought of his name in the starting lineup. Yup, Angel Pagan is on pace to hit a super human .400/.500/.600 with a 202 OPS+! Take that sabermetrician basement nerds!

The scrappy Brady Clark, however, is on pace to do exactly what we expected: .000/.000/.000

Coming Sunday, the first of the weekly "Bend Ya Knees" and "TOAST!" Milledge and LoDuca updates.

The One Thing I Miss About Captain Red Ass

Dear Brian Schneider,

This is a hockey goalie's mask:


This is a catcher's mask:

Please make the appropriate adjustments. Thank you.

Don't Fuck With Marty

Would you insult this man's baseball intelligence? You probably should, but that's not why we're here today. We're here to ask why he is such a d-bag in responding to mailbag questions that even hint at using stats as a way of looking at players.

I understand that 99.99999% of the emails that this guy receives are something along the lines of "Yo Marty, you think the Mets can trade Schneider and Pelfrey to the Tribe for C.C. and Victor Martinez - Love, Sal from Brooklyn," but Marty seems to be getting a tad feisty these past couple of mailbags.

In his latest mailbag, Marty Noble graces our feeble minds with his heightened baseball knowledge by tossing this "answer" out there.

Brian Schneider's statistics suggest he has a strong preference against batting eighth in the order. Between 2005-07, Schneider has batted .279 (.768 OPS) in 559 at-bats in the seven-hole but only .220 (.598 OPS) in 409 at-bats batting eighth.

To put it in perspective, that is the difference between Brian McCann and Jason Kendall. The trend holds for each of the past three years; Schneider's OPS has been at least 140 points higher in the seven-hole each year. Any chance the Mets bat Schneider higher due to his history of not producing at the bottom of the order?
-- Kevin K., Washington. D.C.

Put away the calculator for a moment and understand that a batter's place in the order is at least partially a function of what other players do well and poorly. Schneider is not going to bat first, third, fourth or fifth for the Mets. The more plate appearances available to players with higher on-base percentages, the more often the batting order turns over and the more scoring opportunities develop. And Schenider isn't an on-base guy no matter where he bats.

That said and with all due respect to the your number crunching, how many players do you suppose would hit more productively batting eighth with the pitcher behind them than batting elsewhere? And do you suppose the player the Mets would bat eighth in place of Schneider wouldn't be similarly affected?

Yes Kevin K, put away the calculator. Such machines frighten and confuse Marty. Notice the "I'm Marty Noble, bitch!" attitude in such phrases as: "With all due respect to your number crunching" and "do you suppose..."

I also didn't see where Kevin suggested that Schneider bat 1st, 3rd, 4th, or 5th. I only see where he suggested 7th. Based on the numbers Kevin K threw out there, this wasn't a suggestion that necessitated the holier than thou response of the great Marty Noble. A simple look at Schneider's BaseballReference page would have let Marty respond rationally by telling Kevin K that over the course of his career Schneider's splits in the 7th v. 8th hole are only .265/.244 and .725/.702 (BA and OPS). His marginally increased production could be attributed to many things, but the key point to understand is this: he can't hit either way.

I can imagine Marty on the phone dictating this acerbic response to his editor with the same smug grin on his face as in the above picture while the editor is still trying to understand why this guy doesn't just buy a goddamn computer.

Freddie Coupon Pours Salt in the Wounds

Dear Fred,

Remember the letter you had Jeffy send us in October? Right after Toothless' horrific one-inning performance? You thanked us for our record-breaking support in 2007 and assured us that ownership was committed to providing the necessary resources to field a championship team.

Do you remember? Maybe this will jog your memory, "You deserve better results...Many thanks again for your record-breaking support." Ringing any bells?

So what did you do? You paid scouts to watch Jeff Fassero in Mexico. You were outbid by the Diamondbacks for Dan Haren. From all angles it looks like you'll be outbid on Santana. You've traded away our 23-year-old top prospect for the past 2 seasons for a 29-year-old who is arguably his equivalent with less upside and a catcher with a career OPS+ of 82. You don't seem to have learned from your mistakes.

Couple this with a historic collapse and team-wide who gives a shit attitude last September, and you have the makings of a quite pissed-off fanbase.

But leave it to you to figure out a way to pour a little extra salt in the wounds. Leave it to to you to add insult to the injury that was bad enough on its own.

Loyal Mets fans reward for record-breaking attendance and support to the bitter end? A 20% increase in ticket prices for the final season at Shea.

What's the 20% going towards Fred? Those Mexican leagues scouts' burrito bills as they type furiously on their blackberries that Omar should give a pitcher whose last decent season came in the 20th century a shot?

But rest assured, the biggest increases will effect the most expensive seats and there will be $5 nose-bleeds available for 36 games this year! Oh goody! If you want a decent ticket you're going to get final-season-at-Shea raped...but fear not, you can always sit in UR Row V for $5.

Thanks Freddie Coupon, you always find a way to top yourself.

Love,
Just one of many who contributed to the record-breaking support

Hat tip to CSTB for the image.

What About Ryan Church?

According to Dayn Perry over at FoxSports the Mets couldn't even make the top 5 trade candidates for Johan Santana.

No team could use Santana more than the Mets, but they don't have the tempting young arms needed to get something done. Also, now that Lastings Milledge has been jettisoned, they can't even assemble an attractive package of position players...

There's nothing like reading for a week about how L-Millz's stock had dropped so low that the only possible deal was for him to him being turned around for Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, and Youppi - and then hearing that if Omar had kept him the Mets could be in the mix for say, the greatest LHP of the past 4 years.

So who do we believe? Dayn Perry, Metstradamus, and the 16 fans who sat along the right field line that fateful day - or Wally Matthews (wait...never believe Wally Matthews) and those who told us that Lastings had gone from the man who the Mets wouldn't trade for Manny into Youppi bait?


I'm beginning to think the only memories of Santana at Shea will be from the random interleague game I managed to attend on June 18th, 2002 when an unknown Twins reliever put up 6 innings of 3 hit, 1 run baseball to become what Mets fans believed would be another name on the long list of "nobodies" who shut down the awe-inspiring offensive juggernaut that was Vaughn, Alomar, and Burnitz.