Saturday, February 16, 2008

Captain Red Ass Speaks

Breaking his long silence since being named in the Mitchell Report, the author of the famous "my phone is TOAST" note on Dodgers stationary has expressed his deep sorrow and regret.

"In regards to Senator [George] Mitchell's report," Lo Duca said in a written statement, "I apologize to my family, all my fans and to the entire baseball community for [the] mistakes in judgment I made in the past and for the distractions that resulted. I am fully committed to being the best player and person I can be, on and off the field, for the Washington Nationals and the entire baseball community.

"I recognize the importance of my role in the community as a professional athlete, and I intend to focus my energies on making a positive impact in that regard. So that I can focus on making positive contributions and avoid creating further distractions, I respectfully decline to comment any further on the content of the Mitchell Report."

Good damage control Paulie, but you're still bat-shit crazy. Both for cheating on your playmate wife with Stoneonta's finest and trying to kill umpires after a strike two call.

Oh, and by the way, don't think that just because Crazy Eyes is off the juice he's not still going to go .500/6/36 in the 18 games the Mets play the Nats. The 2008 Mets: Your Beatdown at the Hands of LoDuca and Milledge Has Come!


Dan in Texas said...

I loved Paulie Ballgame when he was a Met but I am glad the Mets cut him loose. I hated having Mota on the team last year and not just because he sucked, though that was part of it. I hope every player that gets caught juicing gets cut loose and becomes radioactive to the point where only teams like the Nats or Pirates will sign them.

I agree with you 100% about when the Mets play the Nats. LoDuca and Lastings are going to do some damage. I am still not totally on board with the Stings for Church and Schneider trade.

MP said...

I don't think anyone is on board with the Lastings trade, although I had myself convinced it wasn't that bad for a few weeks.

It's just inevitable that Paulie and Lastings are going to be apeshit on the Mets all season. Lastings is trying to prove himself and LoDuca wanted to stay in NY in the worst way. Add that to the 3 or 4 starts that Glavine pitches against the Mets with a sub-1.00 ERA and you've got me crying into more than a few beers over the next 7 months.

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