Jealous Much?

This link (and commentary) is swiped from Fire Joe Morgan...which is arguably the best sports blog on teh interwebs. The article is written by Rich Hofmann of the Philly Daily News, the commentary by KT of FJM (for anyone not familiar with FJM, the original article is bold and the commentary is normal):

The Mets themselves said all of the right things - third baseman David Wright said the Phillies were still the team to beat in the National League East, as did Randolph - but this was quite the welcome for Santana, the two-time Cy Young winner. And listening to the radio on the way home, you could tell it was clear that all of the pomp and circumstance has led Mets fans to the inescapable conclusion that they already have won the World Series, before the first golf club has been shipped to spring training.

Well, they did collapse last year, in horrific, almost 2004 ALCS Yankees-esque fashion. But they were 7th in the NL in team ERA, and 6th in Ks, and they really didn't have a #1 starter. Though their offense struggled late, if they had Santana last year, they'd've made the playoffs easily. So, despite Moises Alou being 58, and Glavine leaving, and Pedro being a wild card, you have to say that getting Santana makes them pretty effing tough.

And, in that spirit, Santana raised his hands at one point and showed off all the World Series rings he won in Minnesota.

Oh, wait.

Ha ha ha ha! He never won a World Series in Minnesota! What a douche. Only jerks and losers don't win World Series titles by themselves.

Santana has won 70 games in the last four years. Here's how the Twins have ended the season in runs scored in those four years: 12th, 8th, 14th (last), 10th.

"It takes 25 players," Santana said, more than once, in response to more than one question in more than one language. He seems a sincere sort, and he has been a great and durable pitcher (although only 15-13 last season).

His team had a .721 OPS. That's 13th out of 14 teams. The league -- the American League, mind you -- batted .225 off him with a .273 OBP. He had 55 more Ks than anyone on the Mets. And this was a down year for Santana.

His career ERA+ is 141. His career WHIP is under 1.1. He Ks 9.5/9 IP. His DERA is 3.20. He is left-handed. His change-up looks like it's being controlled by a dude playing RBI Baseball, who can maneuver it mid-air with a joystick. He is 28.

These are all things you could have written that would have been more relevant than "only 15-13 last year."

The RBI Baseball reference is gold. Pure gold.

Note that the sub-head is "

New York disgustingly canonizes new ace before he even pitches

I'm pretty fucking sure that it's ok to "canonize" Saint Johan before he pitches. A 141 career ERA+ entitles you to that kind of treatment. I'm sure if the Phillies had landed Santana Rich would have kicked him in the nuts threw a battery at his head and said "welcome to Philadelphia."

Since when is it over the top to hold a press conference after a major trade/FA signing and have the player talk to the media/take pictures with the team? Didn't they do the same thing at the Brad Lidge press conference...

And just for shits and giggles, Hofmann throws the obligatory collapse punch right at the end:

The Mets do not want to find out [what will happen if they are in a long divisional fight]... Because they just spent up to $150 million on one of those green Christmas-tree things you hang from the rearview mirror. They would hate to find out that it failed to mask the stench of 7/17.

(That's 7-game lead with 17 to play, not July 17th.)

I'm failing to comprehend how Johan Santana is the equivalent of "those green Christmas-tree things you hang in the rearview mirror." First of all, it's called an air freshener Rich. Second of all, does Santana smell like Pine Sol? Last time I checked making a trade for a dominant starter wasn't to mask the stench of a previous season - it was to make next season's team better.

But alas, that wasn't even the best line that Hofmann scribbled. My favorite part? The spot where he takes a swipe at the fact that Santana doesn't have any rings. You're right Rich, we probably should have signed Livan and his championship instead.