False Hope

From LENIII in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

The Twins checked in with the Red Sox, Yankees and Mets just before everyone split for the holidays but nothing major appears to be heating up.

Yes, you just read the word Mets. Indications are that the Mets remain a viable destination for ace Johan Santana, and that the Twins like enough of their players that a deal could be worked out without shortstop Jose Reyes being part of the package.

Outfield prospects Carlos Gomez and Fernando Martinez have been mentioned in other reports as possible targets. Pitchers Mike Pelfrey, Kevin Mulvey and Phil Humber are considered good prospects but it’s unclear how much the Twins like them. And, it’s unknown if there are any established players the Mets are willing to part with (Reyes and David Wright seem untouchable).

This is pure speculation, but you have to wonder if the Twins would prefer to deal Santana to a National League team. Santana, a career .258 hitter, would get the chance to swing the bat. And, except for interleague play, the Twins wouldn’t have to face him during the regular season.

This is from the same guy who told us the Mets only had their name in the mix for "PR purposes" a few weeks ago.

The merry-go-round that is the 2007 offseason continues. At least we don't have to worry about trading for an overweight pitcher whose success is largely attributed to smoke and mirrors anymore - Jerry Crasnick at ESPN is reporting the Blanton talks have cooled.

If anyone's interested, Don Burke at the Star-Ledger had a nice piece about Kevin Mulvey and what it's like to have been "traded" about 500 different times already this winter. If worse comes to worse I won't be too upset with Pelfrey, Humber, and Mulvey battling for rotation spots. Not that it matters of course...whoever loses the spring training battle is guaranteed a spot in May when the bunion acts up.

Merry Christmas

From Ketchup on Your Ice Cream to you...Merry Christmas

Johan Who?

Yes Mets fans, that's right. Instead of a shiny new dominant LHP under your tree this Christmas morning the management that brought you a %20 ticket price increase is pleased to present The Jacket's newest reclamation project - Kyle Lohse.

A man who gave up a grand slam to Kaz Matsui - and no, it wasn't on opening day - is the starting pitcher that the Mets are "zeroing in on." This after they offered $40 mil/4 years for Carlos Silva only to be brushed aside by the Mariners. Yes, the career 1.368 WHIP Carlos Silva.

Omar undoubtedly has Tony Reagins and Josh Byrnes on speed dial frantically inquiring about Bartolo Colon and Livan Hernandez - just in case the whole Kyle "career 4.82 ERA, 1.432 WHIP, and 95 ERA+" Lohse thing doesn't pan out.

Thank you Mets, thank you Omar, thank you Freddy Coupon, thank you Jeffy, thank you, thank you, thank you.

And It Continues...

The Mets are like your high school girlfriend who you always thought was a bit out of your league. She would tell you she really liked you and wanted to hang out but she was sick and then you would walk into the mall and see her making out with the captain of the football team. Your only thoughts would be, "I should have known, but thanks for leading me on bitch."

Thanks for leading us on Omar.

The Mets could have just saved the money they spent flying Omar and his crew to the Winter Meetings 2 weeks ago and just shoved it right back up their asses. Maybe they could have used it to not jack up my 7-pack price by $75....just a thought.

We all know already (thanks to MetsBlog and Metstradamus) that the Mets going after Santana was one big fucking joke. Thanks again guys, hell of an organization you're running in Flushing.

You see, I was under the impression that actually trying to get Santana would increase fan morale. I guess telling the fanbase that you're committed to winning and won't trade one of your young superstar infielders for Venezuela Johnny wouldn't be the "right thing to do."

So why not just lie to everyone instead? Inspire thousands of columns and comments on MetsBlog and normal amounts of columns and comments everywhere else by duping the fans into thinking that somehow the Twins were considering a package of F-Mart and Aaron Heilman's autographed Yadier Molina HR ball for the best LHP in the game over such other offers as the shoulda-been World Series MVP and two other top prospects or the once agreed-upon top pitching prospect in the game and two top prospects. We was duped.

In other news...Brian Schneider's wife is quite attractive and Matthew Cerrone was lucky enough to talk to her:

…lastly, i talked with his wife, jordan, for a few minutes, who is very sweet and seemingly quite excited to be in New York - and though they’re keeping their house down south, they are looking for a home either in Manhattan or in Connecticut like so many of his teammates…for what it’s worth, she prefers the city…

My only question for MetsBlog is why are state and borough names capitalized and not italicized but a real person's name remains uncapitalized and in italics?

We can only hope there will be enough cut-aways to Ms. Schneider in the stands with a horrified look on her face as Captain Red Ass and Da Edge combine to hot .750 with 42 HR over the 19 times the Mets battle the Nats - and you can see all these games from the Upper Reserved for only $55!!!

Thanks for systematically crushing our h

Blanton to Mets?

Via MLB Trade Rumors...Buster Olney is reporting that the Mets could have Blanton soon - if they agree to trade Gomez, Mulvey, and Heilman. I'm inclined to believe that Heilman could be just as decent a starter as Blanton if given the chance so this deal doesn't quite make sense. If this were Dan Haren it would be a different story, but Blanton is an innings eater who doesn't walk many guys. The caveat of course is that he doesn't strike many guys out either.

He also pitches in a pitchers park now as it is in Oakland, so the "Shea will do wonders for him" argument is weak. He's been an average pitcher in the AL (career ERA+ 105, career ERA of 4.10) who's good for 200+ innings. I don't think it's worth Gomez, Mulvey, and Heilman....do you?

The Real-Life George Costanza

(The key word is "tasteful")

From the Daily News:

"New York Yankees traveling secretary David Szen pleaded guilty Tuesday in federal court to filing a false tax return and admitted he failed to report more than $50,000 in tips from players and coaches.

Authorities said the tax loss was $10,285 based on underreporting of $53,350 over five years. The 56-year-old from Brookfield, whose reported 2005 income was $63,631, received tips ranging from a few hundred dollars to $10,000 for services provided to unidentified coaches and players during the baseball season.

"I was wrong, and for that I'm humbly sorry, your honor," Szen told U.S. District Judge Mark Kravitz.

Outside court, he asked for forgiveness and apologized to his family, employer and friends.

Szen, who took a paid leave of absence during the investigation, was fired Tuesday, said Howard Rubenstein, a spokesman for Yankees owner George Steinbrenner."

The worst George ever did was bang his secretary and give her an unauthorized raise. Shame on you David Szen, shame on you.

Wise Decision

Omar, you may not be such a moron after all. Matt Wise has been a pretty decent pitcher in his career. Before beaning Pedro Lopez in the jaw last season, Wise was considered a solid reliever and a live arm.

He has a career ERA+ of 108 so he's slightly better than average - and if the Mets had an average bullpen for the last two months of 2007 the season may have played out a little differently. I'm waiting for the 2008 PECOTA to come out but the numbers seem to indicate that his best season in 2005 may have been a fluke. His BABIP was .190 compared to over .280 in the year before and after. His H/9 was considerably lower than his career average (5.4/8.4ish) and his strikeouts were way up. The most telling sign was his sub-1.00 WHIP compared to a career average of 1.21

All that considered, even when Wise wasn't at his peak he was a better than average reliever who gave 50-60 quality innings without giving up many home runs or walks. If nothing else, it's a step in the right direction.

Freddie Coupon Pours Salt in the Wounds

Dear Fred,

Remember the letter you had Jeffy send us in October? Right after Toothless' horrific one-inning performance? You thanked us for our record-breaking support in 2007 and assured us that ownership was committed to providing the necessary resources to field a championship team.

Do you remember? Maybe this will jog your memory, "You deserve better results...Many thanks again for your record-breaking support." Ringing any bells?

So what did you do? You paid scouts to watch Jeff Fassero in Mexico. You were outbid by the Diamondbacks for Dan Haren. From all angles it looks like you'll be outbid on Santana. You've traded away our 23-year-old top prospect for the past 2 seasons for a 29-year-old who is arguably his equivalent with less upside and a catcher with a career OPS+ of 82. You don't seem to have learned from your mistakes.

Couple this with a historic collapse and team-wide who gives a shit attitude last September, and you have the makings of a quite pissed-off fanbase.

But leave it to you to figure out a way to pour a little extra salt in the wounds. Leave it to to you to add insult to the injury that was bad enough on its own.

Loyal Mets fans reward for record-breaking attendance and support to the bitter end? A 20% increase in ticket prices for the final season at Shea.

What's the 20% going towards Fred? Those Mexican leagues scouts' burrito bills as they type furiously on their blackberries that Omar should give a pitcher whose last decent season came in the 20th century a shot?

But rest assured, the biggest increases will effect the most expensive seats and there will be $5 nose-bleeds available for 36 games this year! Oh goody! If you want a decent ticket you're going to get final-season-at-Shea raped...but fear not, you can always sit in UR Row V for $5.

Thanks Freddie Coupon, you always find a way to top yourself.

Love,
Just one of many who contributed to the record-breaking support

Hat tip to CSTB for the image.

Conspiracy Theorists

Speak English!

I know John Rocker's site is making the rounds in the blogosphere these days....but I feel compelled to post this anyway. The fact that the homepage hasn't been updated in over a year worries me...will John still autograph a shirt for me and mail it to my house?

T-SHIRTS/AUTOGRAPHS: Many of you have inquired about Rocker T-shirts and how to get an autograph.
T-Shirts are available for sale, and you may send an item to Debi Curzio at PO Box 670927, Marietta, GA 30066 and John will be happy to autograph it and send it back to you.

Herbs From South America

Add another well thought out excuse to the long list that includes flax seed oil and vitamin B-12. Herbs from South America. That's right. Herbs. From. South. America. Listen, we all could use a few more red blood cells. This, from everyone's favorite borderline hall-of-famer, Jim Parque:

"Either someone isn’t telling the truth, or steroids really don’t work because I was throwing 80, 81 mph before the report said I took them, and I was throwing 80, 81 mph after I allegedly took them..."

But what about the evidence Jimmy? The paper trail, the bottle of fucking Winstrol that you sent to a certain Rodamski character to "check out?" Did you want him to make sure they weren't steroids so you could feel even more self-righteous as you flushed it down your undoubtedly gilded and jewel encrusted shitter?

"Parque sent Radomski a bottle of Winstrol to ‘check out.’ Radomski determined it was ‘no good’ and discarded it.'’

[The Mitchell Report] goes on to say that Radomski had Parque’s phone numbers and address, as well as two checks from Parque totaling $4,800 that also were shown in the report.

Parque admitted to sending the checks and said he received in return ‘’a bunch of supplements, some creatine, vitamins, some stuff to increase my red-blood-cell count and some herbs from South America that were supposed to help with my injuries.'’

There you have it. Herbs from South America. There's a joke to be made in and of itself there, but I'm too tired to figure it out.

Hat tip to CSTB for the link.

Good Times All Around

Quick side note, is there a better mascot than the "generic weight with muscle arms and a toothy smile" for anabolicsteroidspharma.com? I can't think of one off the top of my head.

Johnny Franco, #45, Mr. NYC Sanitation himself was on Boomer and Carton this morning and went on the record saying that Roger Clemens shouldn't be in the HOF. Pretty damning stuff coming from the back of the garbage truck. On that note, let's take a tour of the blogosphere shall we?

It's Mets For Me has the best montage of Captain Red Ass roid rage pictures.

Fire Joe Morgan takes John Kruk to task about his litigation skills.

Can't Stop The Bleeding's Ben Schwartz comments on Yahoo! Sports use of the race card.

Can't Stop The Bleeding's GC wins the award for best post on the "paper trail."

Neil Best over at WatchDog for some reason thinks that it's still football season - and links to his fine newspaper column on the debacle.

Awful Announcing links to the YES network denial of David Justice, and mentions the strange lack of the same for Fernando Vina.

Metstradamus is on his soapbox...and he gets props for the best picture so far.

Lone Star Mets is pretty upset with Todd Hundley.

The McFly weighs in and has the Mets winning in 2000 4-2....game by game analysis.

And last but not least, Brooklyn Met Fan wins for best line of the morning..."Matt Franco - big whoop"

Enjoy the syringes.

Bless You Toasted Joe

Yes Joe, It's Toasted posted the "Adjusted Results" of the 2000 World Series based on the Mitchell Report. Check it out, it's worth it.

My favorite part (with regards to Game 2): "Comment: The juicers didn't help the Yankees on the offensive side, but 8 out of 9 innings were pitched by a cheater who almost killed the Mets' best player in a fit of roid rage -- and the Mets still only lost by 1. In other words, Game Two has to go to the Mets as well."

Well done.

TOAST!

From pg. 208 of the Mitchell Report:

"Paul Lo Duca is a catcher who has played with three teams in Major League Baseball since 1998, the Los Angeles Dodgers (7 seasons), Florida Marlins (2 seasons), and New York Mets (2 seasons). He has appeared in four All-Star games. Todd Hundley referred Lo Duca to Radomski when Lo Duca played for the Dodgers. Radomski estimated that he engaged in six or more transactions with Lo Duca. In some transactions, Radomski sent the performance enhancing substances by overnight mail to Lo Duca’s home or to the Dodgers clubhouse and Lo Duca sent Radomski a check a week or so later."

Now we know why Omar was so shrewd in not signing Captain Red Ass....he had an inside source all along.

In other news, Hundley was also named so I'm giving the single season Mets HR record to Piazza. There's specific accounts of Clemens injecting himself during the 2000 WS so we should give that title to the Mets as well...Of course we probably would have never got to the NLCS in '99 because Todd Pratt was named too.

Hopefully you picked up the sarcasm there. It is shocking, however, to see how many mediocre to horrible players were (supposedly) juicing. Gary Bennett?!?!? Josias Manzanillo?!?!?!?!?!?!!? Yeah, the 'roids did a lot for their ability...

If you want to read a fascinating account of grown men attempting to inject unknown substances into their asses, failing at it, and then asking another grown man to inject their asses for them then by all accounts read the Mitchell report.

If you're like me and just don't give a shit anymore, it may be worth it for the unintentional comedy value. Take this gem of a note from LoDuca's lengthy section:

"Kirk, Sorry! But for some reason they sent the check back to me. I haven’t been able to call you back because my phone is TOAST! I have a new # it is [Lo Duca’s phone number is listed here]. Please leave your # again because I lost all of my phonebook with the other phone. Thanks Paul"

TOAST! That Captain Red Ass!

More to follow.

History Repeats Itself

Since one can only subject them self to so many hours of civil procedure review...I have just enough brainpower left to copy and paste this piece by Tim Marchman from today's NY Sun. Why just cut and paste you ask? Well, because he's the journalist and put what I've been thinking for 2 weeks into just the right words:

"Every time the Mets make a fetish of professionalism (and do so at the price of talent), they regret it, as they do whenever they make a fetish of experience at the expense of youth, or play for the next year rather than the next five. When they do all these at once, as when they traded Kevin Mitchell and Scott Kazmir, the results tend towards the unforgivable. But they do the same thing over and over again, never learning from the past and never changing. General managers, managers, and coaches are fired, and the players grow old and retire, but the Mets are always the Mets — never accepting risk, always afraid of failure, and never quite as good as they should be.

The Mets should be a great team, and they can be. David Wright, Jose Reyes, Perez, and Maine all met or surpassed expectations this year, and the best of the team's veterans still have plenty left. This is a team that can succeed, wildly, for years. But for that to happen, the Mets have to trust talent, at every level and in every signing and trade."

As usual, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Your season has come!

You Pick Your New Wallpaper and/or Screensaver

With all due respect to Metstradamus and his impeccable photoshopping skills... Doesn't the real thing hurt so much more?

Remember everyone complaining about the Mets not having any heart? Not playing with any emotion? Not caring about choking away a 7 game lead in the middle of September?

Apparently the solution was to get rid of the two guys who may have actually gave a fuck.

I was on board with the Milledge trade when it happened...now, I'm not so sure. The thought of Captain Red Ass and Da Edge combining to hit .500 with 20 HR against Met pitching in 2008 isn't particularly appetizing.

But rest assured loyal Mets fans, this upstanding gentleman who exited the clubhouse after the quite epic collapse looking like this should be fully healed and ready to go just in time for spring training.

No more stories of barely legal girls from Oneonta instead of smoking hot playmate wives. No more articulate rap songs praising the benefits of deep knee bends. Just someone named Carlos telling the media that this team is so good that sometimes they just get bored.

The Team! The Time! The Utter Humiliation!

Who to Believe?

Everyone's favorite VORP-hater Jon Heyman reports today that the Mets round out the three teams left in the Johan hunt - the other two being a couple of teams from the AL East you may have heard of.

"And the Mets offered different packages of prospects that included either outfielder Carlos Gomez or outfield prospect Fernando Martinez but not both, declining to include the one extra prospect the Twins requested to clinch the deal according to people familiar with those talks."

Again, what are they waiting for? What other prospect do we have worth holding onto other than F-Mart and Carlos III? I'd throw in the Twins choice of 2 from the group of Pelfrey, Humber, or Mulvey. After all, the Mets would be acquiring a pretty decent starter in return.

But wait, Heyman's not done just yet, he's not content with simply giving us hope - no, he has to throw us into a full blown frenzy:

"Some Mets people actually thought they had the best offer at the winter meetings, even though Minnesota originally didn't see a way for the Mets to contend for him. Eventually, Mets GM Omar Minaya or his bosses may conclude that the deal is worth making not only to improve their on-field product, but also to change their 2008 spring storyline from their epic collapse to the '07 season."

Unfortunately this is the Mets MO - make a trade to save face or "change face." However, this is the one time it would actually not be a bad idea. If we have the best package - the for the love of everything holy get this goddamn trade done - as in right now. Please don't outsmart yourself Omar, we beg you.

All this hope and unbridled enthusiasm is summarily shat on by Matthew Cerrone at MetsBlog, who claims that the Twins want Gomez, Pelfrey, Humber, Mulvey, and more. I'd love to believe Heyman and think it's a hangup over one guy...but is Johnny Santana worth every pitching prospect we have (they probably want Deolis Guerra too) and Gomez or Martinez?

Tip of the cap to MLB Trade Rumors for both links.

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

I realize this is a week old...but I felt the need to put it up anyways. From Shoot Your Hopes and Dreams:

"Nats GM Jim Bowden has traded for both Lastings Milledge and Elijah Dukes in the last 4 days. On their own I love both trades. In tandem these acquisitions are a disaster waiting to happen. Ordinarily I'm the last guy to worry about team chemistry, but not since Hitler met Goebbels has a pairing had this much potential for damage. (No I'm not literally equating World War II with a couple of thugs. Don't waste your time in the comments section).

Despite his considerable talents, the Mets organization soured on Milledge's cocky attitude to the point were they preferred mediocrity to his presence in the clubhouse. While Milledge rubs people the wrong way, Elijah Dukes is a complete sociopath. He has six arrests under his belt. His wife has a restraining order against him for threatening to kill her. He just knocked up the 17 year old foster child of one of his relatives. Not a good dude."

Good times all around! And just think, we get to see it all unfold (probably from below in the standings) in the NL East!

Toying With Our Emotions

Yes that's right, you heard me correctly, Johan Santana wants to be a Met. In fact, he's dying to be a Met. He's painted his summer villa in Venezuela orange and blue. He's been spotted in midtown in a #41 throwback. He's even made sure to alert the press that he always wears his seatbelt while riding in taxicabs.

This from MetsBlog:

"…having talked with a variety of people over the last few days, ranging from those who are connected to the team to people connected to player reps to those who work in media and for teams who are following the negotiations, from what i can gather, Johan Santana prefers to be on the Mets, where he can a) be in New York City, and b) get out of the hitter-dominant American League…

…the Twins are well aware of this, and are willing to accommodate his request, while also trying to maximize the level of talent they get in return…

…so, over the last few days, if not longer, the Twins have been speaking on and off with the Mets, who are willing to flood them with young talent, but who refuse to provide a major-league ready, immediate-impact player, like Jose Reyes…"

It's Mets For Me had this to say: "It maybe that similar stories can be found on other less-than-impartial sites around the interwebs, ("Santana wants to be a Devil Ray" "Santana wants to be a Rockette"), but invoking Santa's blanket no-trade and hoped-for preference is a recipe for an internet feeding frenzy in Flushing fantasyland. That sound you just heard was not grandpa's bladder, it was hope springing eternal. Well played, Matthew, well played. Let's get frenzied!"

Cerrone goes on to add that the hangup may be that the Mets are unwilling to give Santana the 7-year contract extension that he is looking for. If this is true (which admittedly there's probably much more to the story) why should this even be an problem?

When the Mets were looking to add an impact arm after the 2004 season and Kazmir debacle, what did they do? Oh that's right, they went out and overpaid for Pedro and gave him what everyone thought was too many years. Actually, it was too many years, but the move needed to be made and it re-energized a franchise that desperately needed a boost.

Santana in 2007 is not Pedro in 2004. There aren't any health questions, there aren't any size questions, there aren't any questions period. If this is the only hangup and a deal doesn't get done because the Wilpons all of a sudden wish to exercise financial restraint, there should be a mutiny.

And It Begins...

(Does it still hurt to look?)
Actually, I'm sure it's happened a lot already but this is the first I've seen a columnist in - Tampa Bay of all places - to reference the 2007 Mets collapse in relation to what it would take for the local team to miss the playoffs.

From Martin Fennelly of the Tampa Tribune:

"It would take a Mets-like collapse for the Bucs to miss the postseason. That's not the point."

If it's any consolation this fine journalist showed his true writing ability when he busted out his herb garden line in discussing Sage Rosenfels dismantling of the Bucs earlier today:

"Is it ever a good thing when someone named Sage picks you apart? Parsley, Rosemary and Thyme would have had a field day, too."

Over/Under on how long that line has been renting space in his frontal lobe? +/- 30 years.

Regardless of whether the parsley reference clouds your ability to objectively judge Mr. Fennelly as a writing talent, this is what Mets fans have to look forward to until someone pulls an even bigger gag job...i.e. never.

Ladies and gentlemen your 2008 New York Mets! The Team. The Time. The Mockery!

Apparently Mel Rojas Had Other Plans

(Jeff Fassero in 1998)
From the Daily News (via MLB Trade Rumors):

FASS TRACK: Surprisingly, the Mets were interested enough in the idea of bringing aboard veteran lefhander Jeff Fassero to have him throw for scouts. Fassero, who turns 45 next month, was out of baseball last season and will gear up for an attempted comeback by playing in the Mexican winter league.

That's 45, as in forty-five, as in fucking old.

What were Jeff Fassero's numbers the last time he graced a major league diamond you ask? A sweet 7.80 ERA, 2.067 WHIP, and 58 ERA+ in 15 IP last season for Christopher Russo's favorite team.

Great job Mets! Everyone thought we needed a frontline starter and a reliable bullpen presence. So instead, you go ahead and consider adding a pitcher to the bullpen who has been roughly 25% worse than the league average since he turned 40 and who will probably give up 2 baserunners per inning for his first 10 appearences in April and then retire. Shrewd, shrewd move.

Is this team fucking serious? But after watching the bullpen absolutely turn to dogshit in the last half of 2007 the best this team can come up with is paying someone to be in Mexico to watch Jeff Fassero? Take that cash, buy a handle of scotch and airmail it first class to Bill Smith c/o Minnesota Twins and get on the goddamn horn instead.

What About Ryan Church?

According to Dayn Perry over at FoxSports the Mets couldn't even make the top 5 trade candidates for Johan Santana.

No team could use Santana more than the Mets, but they don't have the tempting young arms needed to get something done. Also, now that Lastings Milledge has been jettisoned, they can't even assemble an attractive package of position players...

There's nothing like reading for a week about how L-Millz's stock had dropped so low that the only possible deal was for him to him being turned around for Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, and Youppi - and then hearing that if Omar had kept him the Mets could be in the mix for say, the greatest LHP of the past 4 years.

So who do we believe? Dayn Perry, Metstradamus, and the 16 fans who sat along the right field line that fateful day - or Wally Matthews (wait...never believe Wally Matthews) and those who told us that Lastings had gone from the man who the Mets wouldn't trade for Manny into Youppi bait?


I'm beginning to think the only memories of Santana at Shea will be from the random interleague game I managed to attend on June 18th, 2002 when an unknown Twins reliever put up 6 innings of 3 hit, 1 run baseball to become what Mets fans believed would be another name on the long list of "nobodies" who shut down the awe-inspiring offensive juggernaut that was Vaughn, Alomar, and Burnitz.

Quote of the Day 12/8/07

"In [Guillermo] Mota, Riske and Torres, we've picked up three relievers who are used to pitching at the end of games, and they're used to pitching multiple innings, too," Melvin said. "We think that's important." - Brewers GM Doug Melvin

Well I guess if you want to play with semantics everytime Mota came into the game it turned into the end of the game...but still.

Brew Crew fans, I offer my condolences 4 months in advance.

Hope Springs...

All the thanks to Riding with Rickey for this...If he makes them, I'll place my order. Kinkos won't give me a reasonable price for blowing up the "Choked to Death" NY Post cover - featuring the unluckiest non-devastated taxi rider in the city.

Lastly, someone needs to get on the Lastings Milledge Facts and re-coordinate the color scheme...navy and red perhaps? I'm sure Metstradamus would be up to the task.

In other news concerning the still Victor Zambrano-less Metropolitans, Omar is upbeat and confident something will get done...to improve the team that is.

From David Lennon in Newsday:

"The fact that we are having dialogue, you know you're in the game," Minaya said. "But it's really hard to tell. I can tell you when these things develop, they develop quickly. There's a lot of back-and-forth going on and we're pretty much in the back-and-forth area."

Minaya found Aaron Heilman to be in great demand, and a National League official confirmed that there was talk about swapping him for Rockies lefthanded reliever Brian Fuentes, as first reported by Foxsports.com. Minaya is likely to need Heilman, however, in a bigger deal for the top starters on the market.

Now pay attention here: Lennon throws some of those scented wood shavings on the pile of vomit that was the Bartolo Colon/Livan Hernandez rumors. Is everyone paying attention? You can come in off the ledge now. Yes, I'm talking to you 'Damus, Rickey, and just about every other Met fan with half a brain.

If the Mets are unable to do that, Minaya did not sound very enthusiastic about the free-agent market, so it doesn't appear that adding Livan Hernandez, Bartolo Colon or the rehabbing Freddy Garcia is an appetizing fallback position. Rather than package pitching prospect Kevin Mulvey, the Mets could always give him the chance to win a rotation spot and skip the free agents.

Annnndddd...We're Back!

Well, it's been quite a hiatus with law school and whatnot. We're back now, and prepping for what promises to be a FANtastic 2008 farewell to Shea - complete with washed up cuban defectees in the starting rotation and a team that is marginally worse than the one that giftwrapped and delivered the division to Chateau Rollins only 2.5 short months ago.

Either way, here's the link to why the Mets won't be landing an O's pitcher - courtesy of Metstradamus and all of his (perfectly acceptable) pessimism. Well, there go the dreams of the Victor Zambrano reunion.

Full Circle

At 8:34 this evening Keith Hernandez repeated The Professor's immortal words on the CW11 broadcast of Mets-Marlins. The ketchup on your ice cream analogy has finally made it big time.

Oh, Mets up 7-1 in the 5th on Delgado's 2 mammoth blasts. Slump? What slump?

Back regularly starting tomorrow.

Exhale Slowly

Jose Reyes will play today. After a scare in a meaningless AB last night (this morning) against the Cubs and Bobby Howry, Reyes slapped an opposite-field single and seemed to limp to first base. He was immediately taken out of the game and replaced by Ruben Gotay. As Keith, Ron, and Gary speculated, Mets fans across the country held their collective breath.

Also, a great job by Kevin Burkhardt to get some insider info from the clubhouse and ease the feeling of dread before any official reports were published or announced.

It also looks like Carlos Gomez will get some more playing time as Moises Alou was placed on the 15-day DL to make room for today's starter Jason Vargas.

On a side note, Gary noted that the Mets starting lineup last night (this morning) was the first ever in MLB history to feature three players named Carlos. Quite an honor for the ballclub.

As Long As He's Ready For Subway Series II

It's just not baseball season until the greatest Blue Jays pitcher ever signs for a ridiculous amount of money and works out in Kentucky...oh wait, that's old news?

Well this coming week and a half should be a fun stretch. The best team in baseball comes into Shea to see if they're anything outside the NL Central, followed by the Cubbies and Sweet Lou, and then of course, Roger and A-Rod's boys continuing scramble to .500 ball.

Let the 9 game winning streak commence.

The Immortal Keith Hernandez

Keith: "I was in the clubhouse having my first Michelob in the third inning."

Gary: Back when you could have a beer in the clubhouse."

Keith: (longingly) Yes.

Reyes, Wright, and Beltran doubled in succession to lead off the game and get the Mets out to a 3-0 lead against Matt Cain and the Giants, Reyes added a triple and a RBI in the 2nd to make it 4-0.

Oliver Perez > Barry Zito?

(Not only is he rich, he also fights terrorism.)

While you can't say that Oliver Perez is a better pitcher than Barry Zito...the early going has seen Ollie be more consistent and pitch to a better record than his 7 Year/$126 million counterpart for tonight's matchup in whatever they call Pac Bell Park these days.

And while I'm glad the Mets' didn't go above five years for Zito, I think there's a part of every Mets fan that wishes we had landed the crown jewel of the 06'/07' offseason. You can't deny that he would look nice at the top of the rotation with Pelfrey morphing into the 2003 Aaron Heilman and El Duque's 72 years finally catching up to him.

Around the talk circuit:

• F&F's Jason has a nice blurb about Mike Pelfrey.
• Ryan at Always Amazin' again linked to a Neyer blog posting, and I am forever grateful:
  

  When you read about Julio Franco vs. Randy Johnson last night, you don't know where to pause for healthy reflection.

  Do you pause (and reflect) upon learning this was "the oldest hitter-pitcher matchup in Major League Baseball history"?

  Do you pause upon learning that Franco is going to turn 49 in a few months?

  Do you pause upon learning that a (nearly) 49-year-old man can hit a good fastball 418 feet? Upon learning the same man stole a base? Upon learning that after the game, he lifted weights for 20 minutes?

  Take a moment, and make a short list of the greatest players in the game's long history. Now circle the names of the ones who were still playing when they were 48.

  Right. No circles. In 1982, Julio Franco played with Pete Rose and Steve Carlton and Tug McGraw. In 2006, he's playing with Jose Reyes and David Wright and Lastings Milledge. You want to make sense of it all? You'll need a scientist, and a good one.

• Finally, Brian Lawrence signed with the Mets on Sunday, and is expected to make some minor league starts to "rebuild his arm strength." He can't be worse than Chan Ho can he?
  

Imagine If He Had Kazmir!

Courtesy of Always Amazin', here's a link to a 2003 interview with Rick Peterson. Ketchup on ice cream and comparing Mike Pelfrey to red wine aside, you can't argue the fact that The Professor knows his shit up, down, and sideways.

For all you practical, self-motivated thinkers out there, they're having open tryouts at Shea right after the Senior Stroll:

RP: We did personality factor tests to learn more about each player. When we first rolled out these tests, there were norms for people like teachers and lawyers, but not for professional baseball players. For example one test measures whether a person is self-motivated or works better through instruction. What we found is that self-motivated, practical thinkers tend to fare well in baseball. By keeping your motivation up, you overcome the fear, worry, and doubt which can hurt performance. Then we look at an umbrella of skills in 12 major areas. Those include: keeping things in perspective, self-knowledge of strong points and limits, discipline, and ability to learn.

We want to quantify as much of the process as possible, whether it's mechanical or psychological. The expression I like to use is: In God we trust, all others must have data.

And when you're done chewing that, you can thank It's Mets For Me, for the classic page of Jacket truths.

Ladies Love (Cool) Julio

Does anyone else feel bad for Randy Johnson? Seemingly washed up 6'11' LHPs aside, the oldest man to take a dump in a major league clubhouse continued his astounding career knocking a RJ fastball into the hot tub at Chase Field and stealing a base as well.

The NL Pitcher O' The Month didn't seem to have his best stuff but battled through a 6 IP, 1 ER performance, and the alpaca farmer nailed down his sixth save in six chances by way of the Mets' third DP of the ballgame.

As you would expect Ambiorix made it interesting in the 8th, giving up a home run that should have been a double to the O-Dog. On the play Endy leaped into the stands and seemingly brought the ball back into play (although not catching it), however, it was ruled a HR and replays seemed to indicate that the ball struck a bag of popcorn in a Jeffrey Maier wanna-be's hands after Endy got a glove on it.

Jorge Sosa gets the ball tomorrow night against the reigning NL Cy Young winner Brandon Webb. Sosa has been lights out in AAA so far, apparently because he's been throwing his slider for strikes and working off that instead of his fastball (this according to Gary Cohen and Howie Rose). The most lopsided game on paper so far, but the Mets seem to have magic in the desert.

Ketchup On Your Ice Cream Works

If I was John Maine I'd have some questions. The Mets swept the National League's player of the month awards, with Johnny taking home the pitching honors and Jose Reyes winning the offensive hardware. The real question is why does Reyes take home a brand new Sharp TV while Maine gets a trophy and a pat on the back?

And as GC would say over at CSTB...isn't it time for an apology from Anna Benson?

Glavine looks for win #294 tonight in Arizona against Micah Owings and the D'Backs. Owings for those of you who aren't familiar with him is pitching to the tune of a 2.93 ERA this season...so he isn't a pushover so far. But the Mets have won 11 games in a row dating back to 2004, let's keep the streak alive.

Say It Ain't Chan Ho (Part II)

Thank you Ryan McConnell. Ever since Rob Neyer went to ESPN Insider I haven't been able to read him, and since I knew there was a Chan Ho column by Neyer after Monday's debacle I was searching for it (for free...go figure). Ryan posted the Neyer column over on Always Amazin' and I'm re-posting it here because it's dead-on.

After Park signed a huge, five-year contract following the 2001 season, his ERAs went like this: 5.75, 7.58, 5.46, 5.74, 4.81. That 4.81 came last season with the Padres, who happen to play in the pitcher-friendliest ballpark in the major leagues. His ERA away from that pitcher-friendliest ballpark last season: 5.45. So leaving aside that 7.58 mark in 2003 -- he was hurt that season, and started only seven games in the majors -- Park seems to have established a fairly consistent level of "ability." ... That said, the decision to turn to Park upon Orlando Hernandez's injury seems like a strange one. There's not only the last five years of awfulness; there's also the last three weeks, as Hernandez racked up a 7.29 ERA in four starts with New Orleans. So why not fellow Zephyr Jorge Sosa (4-0, 1.13 ERA)? Because today was Park's turn to pitch. Which just reinforces my suspicion that today's pitching staffs are far, far too regimented.

Every staff should carry at least one pitcher -- "swingman," they used to call him -- who's capable of giving you five or six decent innings in a pinch. But instead you bring up Park to get hammered. Again.

There was no good reason for Chan Ho Park to pitch on Monday other than the fact that it "was his day." If this thinking isn't backwards I don't know what is...Bring up a guy with a 7.29 ERA over one with a 1.13 ERA because of a 24 hour difference?

We should all hope that Omar, Willie, and the rest of the decision makers take Neyer's advice (as well as close to every Met fan's) and get Chan Ho back to New Orleans in a hurry.

The Legend Of Joe Smith

I knew there was a reason to go to a Marlins game

Despite a second straight loss to the Fish, there were a few positives to take away from tonight's game. Conversely there were a few negatives as well. Shall we?

Positives:

1. Mike Pelfrey settled in nicely after a shaky 1st inning. His command improved dramatically after he took some speed off his fastball. He went 6.1 solid innings and should have secured himself a few more starts.
2. David Wright began snapping out of his April daze after being moved up to the #2 hole, going 3-4 with his first HR since last July...well first HR of the season.
3. Joe Smith continues to amaze, improving his season-opening scoreless streak to 13 innings after coming in after Pelfrey in the 7th with two runners on base.
4. Carlos Delgado also picked up a couple of hits, going the other way both times and getting himself over the Mendoza line.
   

Negatives:

1. Aaron Heilman gave up a monster shot to the new Pat Burrell - Josh Willingham. Heilman has been erratic and inconsistent all season...If he's hurt, I'm with Metsradamus, put him on the DL.
2. Moises Alou doesn't look good at the plate (although he had another sparkling play in the field) since the shoulder situation on Saturday.
3. The hitting with RISP has been bad all year - .245 to be exact compared to a MLB-leading .287 overall), and it's starting to kill rallies now that the team isn't winning games in blowouts.

Overall it's not quite time to panic. If Pelfrey can be a reliable #5, than the team should be fine until Duque and Valentin get back.

Oliver looks to save the series tomorrow afternoon against Anibal Sanchez. It should be interesting to see if Willie keeps David Wright in the two hole or if he drops him back to fifth...it's more likely that David stays up top, with LoDuca probably getting the day game after the night game off.

It Looks So Natural No One Can Tell

Those currently enjoying the broadcast on SNY were just treated to the following exchange:

Keith: "I always liked the way Willie handled his players. Even I needed a pat on the back once in a while in the prime of my career."

Gary: Well, you were fragile.

Your 2007 Emmy winners ladies and gentlemen.

Update: Two walks, a hit batter and a Josh Willingham triple made it 3-0 fish in the first. That was followed by a bizarre sequence. Beltran whiffed on a Wainwright=esque hook, Delgado followed by striking out looking at an identical hook. However, when Delgado struck out Wright stole 2nd...when Wright broke for 2nd, Reyes broke for home and was gunned down by the SS the Red Sox wish they didn't trade...inning over.

One More Thing...

People booed David Wright (left, in the low cut shirt) at last night's game. People booed Carlos Delgado at last night's game. It's not quite the Bronx circa 2004 when they booed Jeter, but it's not really the time or the place when you want the face of the franchise to snap out of a season opening funk.

Since I'm basically illiterate and can't contribute anything else relevant to the discussion, I'll quote Mike's Mets' contributor Joyce:

I sat there and I was as upset as anyone. I saw the wheels come off in the 3rd inning. I saw the poor defense and the men left stranded time and time again. But did I boo David Wright? Of course not. And those of you who did should be ashamed of yourselves. This crowd turned on the entire team in a New York minute. They booed David, they booed Delgado, they booed Easley, they booed everyone and when they weren't booing, they were moaning and groaning. Actually, I may have moaned on the dropped balls myself...

The weird vibe at Shea last night almost made me long for the good 'ole days when no one expected to win and if we did it was a nice bonus to a night at the ball game. Almost. I want to win. I want to win badly. But c'mon guys. Relax. These aren't the years when we were 35 games under .500 and we have to let management know that we aren't going to stand for this anymore. I think that everyone knows we want to win. I don' think booing our team is going to help David break out of his slump or make Easley feel any better about dropping that ball in the 3rd.

I hate to scold all of you who booed. I know you have every right to boo if you want. And believe me, I know how much those tickets cost and you have paid for your right to boo if you so chose. I was just taken aback last night by the sheer negativity in the crowd. Yes, I stayed till the end. No, I did not think we would win at any point last night. I did not think we would win once I heard that Chan Ho Park was starting. Yet, I try to be supportive. Try and look at the bigger picture. We're a good team now - remember?

Agreed.

Welcome Back

My apologies for the lack of posting over the last week+... school and a broken computer caught up to me. Now that CSTB linked to me...well I have to do some work on the blog front.

Since my last post the team has been up and down...but still is only 1/2 game out of first place and right near the top as far as the best record in baseball is concerned.

Last night the story was interesting to say the least...2 outs, pitcher at the plate, after 8 up and 8 down for Mr. Ho Park. 15 minutes and a liner that could have been caught later and the semi-interesting 0-0 game and threat of a Chan Ho Perfecto turned into a 5-0 Fish lead. Beltran and Reyes made it interesting but in the end the Mets couldn't overcome the hole that Mr. Ho Park dug for them, falling 9-6.

On a lighter note..."Fettucini" Alfredo Amezega hit his first homerun since the Cold War. Who said the Mets don't have depth in the rotation?

The big story is obviously that of Kirk Rodamski...the former clubhouse attendant who has pleaded guilty to distribute steroids in federal court. Getting Paid to Watch's Bob Sikes has an interesting take on the situation as he was employed in the clubhouse during the time Rodamski was there.

Tonight the Mets take on the Marlins and try to even up the series and forget everything concerned with Korean starting pitchers. It may also be Pelfrey's final start if he doesn't right the ship.

It's Not A Blowout Until Keith Hernandez Insults A Baby

Pelfrey was erratic and ineffective, the defense was shoddy, and for everyone who didn't believe - Ambiorix isn't a good pitcher. It's been all Braves - 7-0 bottom 8 - and it hasn't been pretty.

After a brief exchange about his trademark Tootsie Roll Pops - orange tonight for those of you keeping score at home - Keith proceeded to call a shot of a baby in an Easter Bunny outfit a "wookie" and then quickly corrected himself, stating that the child looked more like an "ewok." Ron thought it was a Gremlin but who's really counting.

Bottom line, if the Mets don't win the next two games the Braves assume the "team to beat" status from the Phillies.

Well, they technically haven't lost yet. Endy and Reyes are on 2nd and 1st, respectively, with one out. The ever-effective (0-his last 16) Captain Red Ass is at the plate.

(Update:) LoDuca grounds into a 1-6-3 DP and Howie Rose is almost ready to put it in the books...even though he's in Buffalo.

But Can He Hit?

<-- Greg Dobbs, Philadelphia Phillies 1B

Instead of telling you about John Maine's 6 innings of no-hit baseball, the Marlin defense that made me remember the 2003 Mets, and the 4-spot that the Mets tacked on the D-Train in the first inning, we're going to focus on just exactly how bad the Phillies are and how bad the situation is becoming.

Their "ace" - hold the wife-beater jokes - is 0-2 with an 8.82 ERA and has just been moved to the bullpen.

Last season's MVP has struggled at the plate and now is going to miss some time with a sprained ligament in his leg. His replacement for the time being...Greg Dobbs.

Their manager snapped...at a radio show host. (Link swiped from CSTB)

Oh, and by the way, they have the worst record in the Major Leagues at 3-10.

The team to beat is certainly getting beat.

The Team To Beat

After two rain outs in a row, the Mets dismantled the Team To Beat again. There's not much to say other than Charlie Manuel blew up on this glory-seeking waste of a radio talk show host. The recaps of the incident are linked to by CSTB here and here.

Metsradamus has a nice piece following Moises' breakout game (HR wise) and cogently points out that Freddy Garcia never topped 85 mph on the radar gun last night.

Tonight the Mets try and extend their lead in the division when they travel to beautiful Dolphin Stadium to take on the D-Train and the Marlins.

In case anyone forgot, Dontrelle is 11-2 all-time against the Mets with a 2.02 ERA and 91 strikeouts in 115 2/3 innings. We'll see what happens.

If They Win 40 Games, They Got One From Us

After a great performance on Friday night against the Nats which included a man who eats 50 egg whites per day get the winning hit, El Duque looked his age against a shaky at best Nationals lineup today. For the record, I don't see how an umpire can feel that a pitcher is intentionally throwing at someone when the pitch is clocked at 32.4 mph and/or the batter reaches out and catches it wiffle-ball style.

The good news is, while Pelfrey was shaky on Friday, his stuff looks as good as ever and hopefully the Professor can whip him into early Spring Training form. The bad news is that NYC, and the rest of the East Coast for that matter, is supposed to get spanked by a Al Gore-esque monsoon/Nor'Easter/global warming induced/Day After Tomorrow style/already produced baseball sized hail in Dallas/super-mega-ultra storm.

I guess that means no baseball on Jackie Robinson Day at Shea.

If not, the Mets head to Philly for two and Florida for two...I'm more excited about Dolphins Stadium...what a stadium for baseball.

Take Your Base

7 walks in 2 2/3 and a chorus of boos were too much for the Mets to overcome last night against Jimmy Rol...the Phillies and Adam Eaton. The offense couldn't do anything against the Phillies worst starter and Jimmy Rollins actually played well.

Moving on.

If they play tonight it's a match up of elders as Glavine takes on 44-year-old Jamie Moyer in the rain.

• Wally Matthews is back at it. Thankfully his radio show isn't.


• A 300-pound drunk fan fell on a 58-year-old woman and broke her back on Opening Day.


• Lastings is going to N'awlins.


• Steve Phillips, how we miss your idiotic moves.

JIM-MY ROL-LINS, JIM-MY ROL-LINS

Being that this was the first Opening Day I had been to in 7 years, I was pumped for the occasion. And aside from learning that parking and general driving in and around Shea will be a nightmare for two years, it was all that I expected it to be.

An erratic starting performance, a bunt against the shift, a controversial bullpen move, a classic comeback, and of course, Jimmy Rollins being mocked by 56,000 people.

And I'll have to agree with Metstradamus...I haven't wished for a sweep during the regular season this hard since last century against the Braves.

• Faith and Fear had a great piece on the win.
• The Post has a great piece on the win.
• The Daily News had a great piece on the win.
• All in all, it was a hell of a game, a hell of a comeback, and should be a hell of a season.

Touché, Mr. McCarver

As I watched Shawn Green tear the cover off the ball right into Goldilocks' glove yesterday afternoon, I got mad at the game of baseball. Why, you ask? Because if David Wright doesn't steal second, the game is probably tied. Instead, a good move may have cost the Mets a shot at tying the game in the ninth.

The Hebrew Hammer has tacked on to his recent success at the plate launching a Kyle Davies offering out of Turner Field moments before Ramon Castro followed with an absolute moonshot to put the Mets up 2-1 in Atlanta.

• Pelfrey hit two batters and was a little shaky in his final tuneup.
• Did you know that Tom Glavine and John Smoltz are friends?!?!?
• David Wright prefers to get his beauty rest.
• The 72' Dolphins just cracked open a bottle of champagne.
• Did I mention that John Smoltz and Tom Glavine are friends? Off the field too?!?!?

Right now: 2-1 Mets leading the Bravos bottom 4. El Duque looks sharp save for a lead off HR by Kelly Johnson...in fact he hasn't allowed a hit since. Plus, Gary Cohen just tossed "befuddled" into the broadcast, it's a hell of an afternoon.

Sometimes It's Better To Keep The Old Mouth Shut

Keith Hernandez is a prophet. Jimmy Rollins is going to have to hit .400/50/150 to back up his mouth at this point. (Photo swiped from Adam Rubin's Surfing the Mets Blog)

Update: LoDuca goes yard in the top of the first, Delgado drops a routine toss from Jose "Pink Panther Moustache" Valentin on the first hitter in the bottom half and Glavine promptly walks Renteria on 4 pitches...Chipper pops up and I cross my fingers.